


Kayla

by Julia_Danse



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: "Another Settlement needs your help I mark it on your map", Bloatflies, Bloodbugs - Freeform, Brian Virgil - Freeform, Brotherhood of Steel - Freeform, Cannibalism, Concord, Corvega, Crater of Atom, Deathclaw, Diamond City, F/F, F/M, Family, Fenyway Park, Follow the Freedomtrail, Glowing Sea, Greentech Genetics, Homeplate, Locations all around the map, M/M, Minutemen, Molecular Relay, Power Armor, Prydwen, Rad Scorpions, Radstorm, Raiders, Rain, Rape, Rebuilding, Red Rocket Truck Stop, Sanctuary Hills, Secret Sex, Sex, Shaun - Freeform, Signal Interceptor, Starvation, Super Mutants, Supermutant Behemoth, Synths, The Institute - Freeform, The Railroad, Thoughts of the unknown, Vault-Tec-Rep, Vertibirds, War, devastation, feral ghouls, fort hagen, supermutants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:13:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24062671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Danse/pseuds/Julia_Danse
Summary: Kayla had a rough life before the bombs fell.It was absolutely NOT how she imagined it, not the fairytale she wanted...But all changed when the bombs fell.How will she adapt to the new life she's been given?Will she ever recover from the physical and psychological pain from her past?Will there be somone she can trust, or even love?Or will she die out there in the dangers of the Commonwealth?
Relationships: Female Sole Survivor & Dogmeat, Female Sole Survivor/Male Sole Survivor, Female Sole Survivor/Nick Valentine, Female Sole Survivor/Preston Garvey
Comments: 25
Kudos: 12





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a different kind of story. Way darker than what I've written before.  
> New tags will be added with every new chapter.

It should have been a nice day in the park. If it weren’t for the man that lingered next to me. He was quite handsome, brown hair and eyes, tall, muscular, a sharp face. When I first met him I was enchanted by him, his laugh, the wrinkles at his eyes when he smiled, his voice, wit, and all the jokes. He was a soldier with a promising career in front of him. He was strong, loyal to the cause to serve his country to the best of his abilities and he didn’t know any boundaries.  
  
He was so charming back then, wrapping me around his fingers with ease. The first kiss we shared was magical. I saw stars when I closed my eyes and the future... It was a happy one, the one I always wanted. A white wedding dress, the sweetest honeymoon. A child in my arms and a lovely husband next to me. We were laughing ‘cause our boy was happily giggling. I was radiating love in my vision...  
  
But it came differently. Yes, we had a wonderful wedding and honeymoon... But after a while, things changed. Nate began to distance himself more and more from me. No matter what I tried he blocked me, became angry and it wasn’t seldom that I caught a hand in the face. I heard him scream at night, knowing he had one of his nightmares again. I didn’t blame him in the beginning, I knew he was suffering from PTSD. And I also knew that it changed people...  
  
I tried to be there for him as best as possible, but the violence in our life had gotten the upper hand and I was the one that had to deal with it. Every day when I looked into the mirror my face was colored in another variation of bruises. At least my hair was long enough to cover most of Nate’s work and with a pair of shades, the rest wasn’t a problem either. But when he took that knife... My face was covered in scars since then, each and every one done by my husband’s hand.  
  
When I looked at him I saw that he wasn’t himself anymore. I can remember that one day he went out for a while and then I found it. He was on drugs, probably because of his suffering, I didn’t know. But I confronted him when he came back home, asking him what the hell he thought he was doing all the time. He fell to his knees, crying and begging that I wouldn’t tell a single soul. I had promised it and we got rid of those drugs. It went good for a while until Nate had withdrawal symptoms and soon he was high again. I still loved him but I knew a divorce may have been the better act to do than to stay with him any longer.  
  
But he tried, showed me that he was worth that I kept staying with him. Romantic candlelight dinners, picnics, walks through the park. It was just like I had imagined it all my life. Until that one fateful day... It was a nice spring day in March, the flowers started to bloom, bees flew through the air and the birds sang their songs. Nate took me out for our first picnic of the year in the park. And we weren’t the only ones: couples, families with children and dogs, it seemed like all of Sanctuary Hills was there. It was a nice day and when the sun began to set most of the people were on their way home.  
  
Nate had a sheepish grin on his face and the glint in his eyes promised that he wasn’t going to end the day like he normally did. Even before I was able to blink he pinned me down, sitting on my lap with his full weight. My eyes widened in fear when I realized what he wanted to do. I pleaded him not to do it, tears burning in my eyes when he brushed my skirt up. His smile was devilish and his eyes clouded in a drugged haze. I began to scream when I felt him pushing inside me but he held a hand over my mouth and all that came out sounded like muffled moans. I heard people murmur as they walked by, shaking their heads. They thought we were a lovesick couple with no shame to have sex in public. I still tried to scream for help and began to thrash and then Nate also covered my nose. I struggled with my breathing but he was too strong for me... And finally, I passed out, not feeling how my own husband impregnated me without my consent.  
  
I woke up at home, lying in bed with no clothes on, I shivered under the bedsheets, silently crying as my body shook through the sobs. Nate wasn’t there and the house was quiet. First I was frozen on the spot but soon I realized which opportunity he gave me. So I stumbled out of bed, frantically searching for some clothes and whatever shoes were lying around. I opened the door and ran out of the house, just to land in his arms again. I flailed as he tried to lock me in a steel grip, lashing my fingers across his face, feeling how his skin was tearing apart under my nails. He only grunted as the blood seeped out of his wounds and he gave me such a hard slap in the face that I saw stars for a moment. He asked me what I was supposed to do. I didn’t answer and just glared at him with my hand on my cheek. It took me a while to realize that my nose was bleeding. I walked back into the house, defeated ‘cause I knew I was too weak to fight against him.  
  
The door to the bedroom flew shut when I locked myself in. I’d rather die than let Nate touch me ever again... I didn’t know that I was pregnant back then. But it also didn’t take long to find that out. Almost every morning I was running to the toilet and soon I felt my belly swell. Nate was so proud when he found out... At least I was finally able to make him promise me to never touch me again and we almost lived like a normal family. He even took it so far that he was willing to go to a clinic to get rid of his addiction and came back a new man. He was smiling more often now, he was gentle and he treated me like he did in the beginning. It was like falling in love all over again.  
  
I was so wrong... After Shaun’s birth, Nate fell back into old habits. Said he couldn’t sleep when the child was crying in its bed. He’d rather let Shaun scream his lungs out than ever go into his room to check on him. As Shaun’s mother, it was my duty to look after him, no matter which time of the day. Nate never looked after his son and soon I was very exhausted. I decided to get a Mr. Handy ‘cause I needed help with simply everything.  
  
Instead of drugs, Nate found his way around alcohol. It was easier to get and the more he drank, the more violent he became towards me. Not even Codsworth was able to protect me against my husband. The times came where I started to lock myself in Shaun’s room, to keep him and me safe. I cried so much, lost weight cause I wasn’t able to eat anymore. I was afraid of Nate, so so afraid... He didn’t care about his family anymore, the only thing that mattered for him was alcohol.  
And then Halloween 2077 came...  
  
It was the 23rd of October and Nate should’ve taken a speech at Fraternal Post 115. We both were getting ready for the day. It was one of his better ones, he was a bit nervous but cheerful. He smiled a lot and even had a soft tone to his voice. I only was in the bathroom ‘cause I wanted to cover the bruises on my face. I already had the make-up in hand as the doorbell rang. That damn Vault-Tec-Rep stood at the door again. Pity flashed across his face as he looked at me before he plastered on his sales-man smile and finally sold me three places in the local Vault. I heard Shaun crying in his bed, Codsworth was already at his side when he called for me. Nate came too and the robot left us again. I couldn’t believe it when Nate said that he finally fixed Shaun’s mobile and that I should give it a spin. I did so and it came to live with a sweet little melody. Shaun giggled and it brought a smile to my face. Then Codsworth called again and said we should come and see what was on the TV.  
  
Suddenly the air sirens went down and then time took a fast forward. We were running to the Vault, the Vault-Tec-Rep standing at a gate, arguing with a soldier but walked away in defeat. I told the same soldier that we needed to get inside, that we were on the list. My heart skipped a beat when he told us that we were free for clearance to enter the Vault. Just as we stood on the platform a bomb detonated in the south... I felt the shockwave and the heat wash over me and thought this was it. But as I was able to see again we were already underground. Panicked people stood around, each and every one of them were neighbors. Others wore doctor’s coats or blue jumpsuits. Everything was in a haze when I stepped into my pod, thinking that I was gonna be decontaminated until I felt the cold seep into every bone in my body before all went dark again. It was so cold when I woke up. I remembered a dream I had. Nate got shot because he didn’t give someone our baby. But when my pod opened I had to realize that it wasn’t just a dream...  
  
Today I’m sitting in the remains of my old home, the only one who survived was Codsworth. Skeletons litter the ground around me. Giant roaches and flies populate Sanctuary Hills now and all that’s left is my Mr. Handy and me. And I know I can’t stay here any longer. I need to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know it's a grim start and I honestly have no idea where this will lead to.  
> Kayla is an all new character which I just created today and she already caught me.


	2. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla finds herself in a place she knew from her past, but never made it there due to her abusive relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nick isn't trapped in Vault 114 in this story. So here, have a Valentine.

The days went by and I left Codsworth back at Sanctuary. First I was overjoyed when I found him. He was a bit weird but who wouldn’t be after trying to polish rust for 210 years... He couldn’t believe it when I told him that Shaun was kidnapped in the Vault. I didn’t want to believe it either, but it was the truth. I bid Codsworth farewell and left him. Too many bad memories were sticking with him, too much negativity and pain I couldn’t nor wanted to deal with at any moment. This whole new world was already depressing enough.  
  
I walked down to the old truck stop, just down the street outside of Sanctuary. A dog stood in front of it, a sad whimper audible as it approached me. I greeted the dog and found out that it was a boy. He barked joyfully when he sniffed at me and kept sticking with me. Suddenly the earth shook. Giant rats emerged from the ground, their teeth sharp as they bit into the flesh of my legs. I cried out and it took me a while to grab my pistol I took from the Vault and shoot at those rats. The dog killed a few as well and soon I sat in the dirt panting and bleeding. I remembered that I took syringes with me as well and injected one, I felt how it did its magic. The pain subsided and the bleeding stopped. In fact, I could see how my wounds were closing again. It made me wish that they were available back in the past when Nate...  
  
I fell to my knees again crying and my face buried in my hands. He was dead. _I pried myself from the cryopod I was sleeping in, just to stumble out, falling to the cold and wet floor and then to stumble a few steps to Nate’s pod and pressing the release button. The wound in his head was still fresh and I could smell the gunpowder on him. I took his wedding ring and closed the pod again._  
It started to rain while I sat in the dirt and I didn’t know if I should scream, cry or laugh, and somehow I managed to do all at once. _He was dead_! I was free...  
  
I brushed myself off and went on. This place needed cleansing and who would do it better than a housewife? It took me several hours to clear the truck stop, getting rid of all the old tires, the piles of scrap, and whatnot. I built myself a bed and settled down. The day’s excitement started to trickle in my body, a heaviness overcame me and before my head hit the bed I was already sleeping. When I woke up again it had stopped raining and I felt something warm against me. When I looked up I saw that the dog had curled himself against me, a look of worry in his eyes before I started to ruffle his fur. His tail gently began to wag and he huffed. A small smile crept into my still bruised face and I stood up.  
  
I didn’t have much so it was easy to pack my stuff and move again. Gladly I knew how to mod the 10mm I found in the Vault. _Before I met Nate I was something like a ‘Gun Nut’, knew my way around any gun you placed in my hands, how to mod them to peak efficiency and all..._ But today I needed to remember again. The dog and I were going south down to Boston. We avoided Concord for the time being after what Codsworth had told me. There were people there who shot at him several times, _Raiders_ he had called them, and I really didn’t want to run into them just yet. I knew that sooner or later it may happen, but in this case, it was better later than sooner. I still needed to refresh my aim. The only forms of life we encountered were giant flies and mosquitoes. The former ones were shooting their maggots as projectiles towards the dog and myself whilst the latter attacked with their stingers to draw blood from their victims and shoot it to blur their vision. It was a tough fight, but in the end, the dog and I won.  
  
It was getting dark and soon I saw the shimmer of blinding light in the southeast of my location. I remembered that there was _Fenway Park_ , the Baseball stadium and it was the same illumination as in the past. I always wanted to go and see a game, but Nate never took me to one. I wanted to change that and went down to the bright glow, my dog still following me. It seemed like he loved that we were walking across the Commonwealth and not following any broken streets. He often ran in front of me and threw himself into the dry grass and rolled in it, making happy dog noises. Then he stood up again and shook himself, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he then trotted next to me.  
  
We came across a corner and heard gunfire. I didn’t need to think when I heard shouting and ran towards the commotion. My jaw dropped when I discovered green giants shooting at men in funny looking uniforms. I took my gun and started to shoot at the green monstrosities. A howl was audible from my right side and I heard the deformed dog before I saw it. It launched itself towards me and I could feel how it sunk its teeth deep into my right arm and tried to shake me. Yellow saliva dripped onto my jumpsuit, coloring it orange with the blood that trickled out of the freshly ripped wounds. My gun was sailing through the air and landed a few meters away. Another growl told me that my dog was attacking the beast on top of me and I felt how it loosened it’s grip on my arm as it was hurled away. My dog had the beast’s throat in a tight grip of his jaws and ripped it open and the beast fell to the side, dead. Its blood covered the ground around it. This moment reminded me that my dog wasn’t just a pet but a killing machine covered in soft fur.  
  
The pain in my arm blinded me to a degree but I still tried to get up and grab my gun again. The fight wasn’t over yet and those men still needed help. A wet nose nudged at my and I looked down. My dog had my gun in his mouth and dropped it into my hand. I patted his fur and thanked him with a smile. Raising my arm was almost unbearable, the pain almost too much to focus on the task before me. I tried it anyway and gladly the bullet that left my gun found it’s way between the eyes of the last green giant and it slumped down. As did I for a second time. But this time hands grabbed at me before my upper body hit the ground, someone was speaking to me. I tried to look up but only could make out blurry outlines before my vision faded completely.  
  
A sad whimper woke me up and I groaned. Strong hands gently pushed me back down as I tried to sit up, eyes still drooping and my mouth didn’t want to work. I obeyed the pushing and laid down again, another groan erupting from my mouth.  
  
“At least you’re awake, which is a good sign.”, a male voice told me.  
“Wha appnd?”, I asked with a slur.  
“You don’t remember? The guards told me you came running to help them with the super mutants. One of the mutant hounds attacked you and bit your right arm and you had an infection. I almost had to amputate it but managed to ease the swelling _and_ your fever.”  
“How long was a out?”, I asked next.  
“Several days. That dog of yours never left your side _although_ dogs aren’t allowed in the _Mega Surgery Center..._ ”, the man said. I could hear the annoyance in his voice.  
“Thnk yu...”, I said to him with a sigh.  
  
It took several hours for me to completely wake up again. I then found out that Dr. Sun, which also happened to be the man that spoke to me earlier, dosed me up with some _Med-X_ , whatever that was. I just knew that it made me feel dizzy, like being drunk and very vulnerable. I wasn’t with my senses and it bugged me a lot. He also pointed out that I was underweight and if I had eaten in a while. I couldn’t tell him why I wasn’t eating or why I wasn’t even hungry. But he nodded non the less. I was sure my face spoke volumes where my words couldn’t. All those bruises, the scars on my face, and the welling of tears in my eyes... I felt shame first but it wasn’t necessary. The doctor didn’t know me and I didn’t know him. I tried to shrug it off and thanked him again after he told me I can come to him anytime I needed medical attention.  
  
Bright light blinded me when I stepped out of the doctor’s office. It seemed like I found the baseball stadium after all. I looked around and couldn’t believe my eyes. People in stores were praising their wares, one was especially loud ( _SWATTERS, SWATTERS, SWATTERS!! WHO NEEDS A SWATTER?!”_ ) and in the middle of the place stood a food stand. _Power Noodles_ was written above the stand and the smell that wafted over to me suddenly made my stomach growl. I never thought I would feel hungry ever again. My legs carried me over and I sat down.  
  
“ _Nan-ni shimasho-ka_?“, said the robot behind the bar. I looked at him puzzled.  
“Do yourself a favor and just say yes. It’s the only thing he understands.”, a woman next to me said.  
“Well then, yes.”, I said, still wondering why a robot was serving food.  
  
The robot planted a bowl of noodles in front of me and expected to be paid. I looked at ‘him’ not knowing what to do.  
  
“Here, Takahashi.”, a male voice said next to me and laid a few bottle caps on the table. I literally jumped when I looked into the face of my savior. Yellow eyes looked at me from a face that wasn’t one. At least not human. I felt myself shaking while I stared into those yellow glowing eyes.  
  
“You... you’re...”, I stammered out.  
“I am what?”, asked the, well, what was _he_?  
“I’m a synth. Got a problem with that?”  
“No, n-not at all. I mean... I’ve never seen someone like you before. That’s all.”  
  
The synth chuckled.  
  
“No problem. Name’s Nick Valentine and I’m a detective.”  
“I am Kayla.”, I simply said.  
“Come on, eat your noodles. I’d like to invite you to my agency. I’m sure you must have a lot of questions.”  
  
At this, I nodded and tried to stuff my face with the noodles. They were delicious and soon my stomach was filled. Satisfied with that I followed that Nick Valentine to his agency. A blinking neon sign showed us the way and then we were there. The synth opened the door for me and I walked in. the smell of old paper and cigarettes hit my nose and I coughed a little. A young woman stood behind a desk and rummaged through some filing cabinets, a soft murmur audible while she was searching.  
  
The synth told me to sit down and I did. The young woman turned around, flashing me a smile that quickly faded when she saw my face.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry...”, she then said with a small voice.  
“No need to be Miss. Those times are long gone.”, I just said and smiled a little myself to which she relaxed.  
“I’m glad to hear that. I’m Ellie, by the way.”  
“Kayla."  
  
Nick sat down on the opposite of the desk in front of me and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his trench coat. He held it out to me but I declined while shaking my head. He lit himself one and inhaled deeply.  
  
“So tell me, doll, where do you come from?”  
“Well, where do I start... I am from Sanctuary, at least I was before the bombs fell-”  
“What? You’re pre-war?”, Nick interrupted me.  
“Yeah. I just woke up from a cryo-sleep a few days ago. I was at Vault 111...”, I sighed, remembering how I found my way there. A shiver ran down my spine and I felt how my stomach twisted in knots.  
“Excuse me...”, I said as I stood up and turned around to open the door. I ran out and vomited on the street, a whine announced that my dog was present. I totally forgot about him after that run-in with the detective.  
“Ah Dogmeat, seems like you found someone to follow, huh?”, said Nick behind me and ruffled the dog’s fur.  
“Dogmeat?”, I asked through the last of my retching and wiped my mouth. At least I felt better now.  
“He’s a free dog that follows who’s in need of help. But I think his affiliation is with some folks trapped in Concord.”  
“Concord? Oh well... I just avoided that place. My Mr. Handy Codsworth told me the place is crawling with _Raiders_.”, I said and air quoted the word raiders. Nick looked a little alarmed at that.  
“We need to help them.”, he said “But first let me hear all of your story.” and then he walked back inside.  
  
I opened the door to find a bottle of water on the desk. Nick nodded at it for me to take, so I did. The cool water soothed the burning in my throat and helped me get rid of that acidic taste in my mouth. I sat down again and started to talk again. The more I told from my past the more Ellie’s eyes welled with tears and Nick had his head in his hands. They didn’t know what to say. But then Nick’s head shot up from his hands and he looked at me intensely.  
  
“We _will_ find your son!”


	3. Cravings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla, Dogmeat and Nick are on the hunt for Kellogg.  
> A dark craving awakens in Kayla. What will it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am leaving out a lot of stuff 'cause we all know how this scenario goes.  
> And a bit of dialogue is added too.

So Nick and I were on our hunt for a guy named Kellogg. Dogmeat had a fine nose and with him, we tracked the guy across the Commonwealth. Every step I took was taking its toll on me and I felt exhaustion pressing on every bone in my body. Again my stomach rumbled. A broken turret laid before me, a dead raider next to it. Nick was scouting around the area for any other clues than the bloody rag we found. Dogmeat circled the ground, his nose down trying to find another scent but soon he whimpered and laid down.  
  
I could smell the blood with an intensity I’d never imagined. My stomach went from rumbling to growling, I was hungry. My eyes flicked to the dead raider more than once as I stood there with shaking legs. Nick was still scouting, good. My mouth watered and slowly I walked over to the corpse, kneeling down in front of it. I almost drooled at the sight of the juicy flesh, slowly starting to rip away the fabric-  
  
“What are you doing there?” I jumped away from the raider.  
“Uh, I was searching for clues.”, I lied. Nick seemed to believe that.  
“Come on, let’s keep going. There must be some clue here.”, he then said.  
“Wait, there’s that bloody rug, right? Why don’t we let Dogmeat get a sniff from it?”  
“Good idea.”, Nick then said with something like wonder in his voice.  
  
And so we went on our way again. Dogmeat ran across sticks, stones, railways... A broken robot laid before us, sparks flying around its head and it babbled something about an ambush. Nick told me to be vigilant, that this robot was an assaultron, a very dangerous creation of technology. But this one was as harmless as a dead super mutant. Next to its head laid another one of those cigars, _San Francisco Sunlights_ , which I found out while we searched his home in Diamond City.  
  
Another long while of running behind Dogmeat lead to a place called _Fort Hagen_. The dog howled in front of the barricaded door. Nick sent him home and asked me if I wanted him with me in there at the same time. So while Dogmeat trotted back home, Nick and I sneaked up to the roof, trying to be as silent as possible due to the many turrets that were stationed on the roof. It didn’t help, the closest one whirring to life as it detected us and started to shoot at us. Nick made it to cover in time but I felt how two or three bullets met with my flesh and I yelped. Nick looked at me in horror as he discovered the mess my left leg was while I held out my hand for him to grab and pull me into safety.  
  
My breathing was short and cold sweat ran down my forehead. A shaking hand was fumbling for one of those syringes I learned were called stimpaks but I was too unfocused to see what I do. Nick knelt down before me and examined my leg. The bullets all went through, gladly... And when the detective administered the stimpak I sighed. He then ripped off a piece of fabric from his trench coat to wrap it around my leg to prevent further inflammation. I nodded my thanks to him and took my gun in hand, aiming for that damn turret, and with two quick shots, it exploded. I aimed at the next one and the next until every turret was destroyed. There was a latch for roof access into the Fort, we opened it and stepped inside. It was dark and while Nick and I crouched through the building we heard robotic voices. They knew we’d be coming and opened fire.  
  
It was a long way down into the deeper levels of _Fort Hagen_ but we made it. Kellogg rambled about the past and how I should turn around and walk away. The hell I’d do..! I was furious when the last door opened into a dark room in the first. Then a bright light blinded me and that bastard of a scarred man stood before me. All his words were like poison and then I finally snapped. Shot after shot landed inside his flesh, my 10mm leaving a bloody mess on the floor where he stood while Nick took care of the synths. Even when the mag was empty I still kept bashing my hands into his corpse and I felt that animalistic craving again... The smell of his freshly deceased body was so much sweeter than the raider we found on our way here.  
  
A growl erupted from my chest when I dug into his flesh, a feeling of satisfaction and euphoria overcame me, feeling like an orgasm after good sex. If Nick disliked my behavior I didn’t know. At least he didn’t comment on it. Most likely because he never saw me eat something again after those noodles. I devoured a good portion of Kellogg’s body before I took all his belongings, even the weird attachments he had, and even found a password to a terminal in the middle of the room. I read through it, confirming what he had said earlier and suddenly I felt defeated and sighed a heavy sigh. Nick walked over and we discussed the situation and he pointed out that we should see a reporter called Piper. I agreed and we left this damn place.  
  
The elevator dinged and we stood in front of a locked door with a terminal next to it. I hacked it and opened the door as a deep rumbling shook the whole building. As we stepped out a giant zeppelin flew in from the west, it was already night and it’s lights shone brightly into the darkness. A loudspeaker crackled and a male voice spoke  
  
 _“People of the Commonwealth, do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful. We are the Brotherhood of Steel!”  
_ _  
_while two vertibirds flew around the zeppelin, a third undocking as its rotors spun to life. I only could watch with my mouth hanging open and Nick behind me softly spoke “Deep into that darkness peering. Long I stood there, wondering, fearing.” I had the feeling that Nick was afraid of the airship and somehow felt it too. It was weird. I only traveled with him for like two or three days but somehow felt a connection to him already. Nick was kindhearted and tried to help where help was needed. It felt like home, experiencing the old ways at his side and it brought the tiniest of smiles onto my lips. Nick felt like someone you could always count on, no matter the circumstances.  
  
The hours went by and no Dogmeat in sight. I really wished he was still sticking around but after the time that had passed from entering and leaving _Fort Hagen,_ I knew he was home. Soon the bright lights of Diamond City shone down on us. I was exhausted from the current events and felt my legs start to give in. I told Nick that I needed a place to stay, that I needed to recover before we headed to _Publick Occur_ _r_ _ences_. He nodded in agreement and asked me if I had a place to stay to which I shook my head. He just smiled and said that I could use his bed because he didn’t need it. I was very grateful for it and fell asleep with a smile as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	4. Road to Radiation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla and Nick were at the Memory Den, reliving Kellogg's past.  
> While leaving Nick behind Kayla went on her way to the Glowing Sea.

After the discussion with Piper on what to do next, Nick and I went to Goodneighbor. It broke my heart to see how _Scollay Square_ looked and smelled now. The scent of urine and vomit danced around my nose and I pulled a face. The mayor of the town, a ghoul as I had to find out, just killed a man in front of me after he threatened my existence in the place. After that Nick led me to the _Memory Den_ , a place where people were able to re-live their past inside their heads just like it happened a day ago. Dr. Amari hooked us up in her memory loungers and connected Nick and me via a neural interface. It was the strangest experience I had so far, not only because I was poking around in the brain of a killer, but because of what I saw. It was his whole life to that moment when he took Shaun and shortly before we broke into his home in Diamond City.  
  
After my release I stood on very unstable feet, I was sweating and it took a lot to control myself not to fall down onto my knees and put a bullet in my head. Dr. Amari told me that Nick was already waiting upstairs after we discussed what we saw. I thanked her and walked up to where Nick was sitting and called out for him. The voice answering let my blood both boil and freeze at the same time. It was Kellogg’s. “What?” was all I could say and just at that moment Nick was back. I told him how he sounded and he told me that Dr. Amari said that something like could happen. He asked me if I wanted him to join me in my travel to the Glowing Sea but declined. My heart was still racing and it was too dangerous having him around me right now; so I sent him home while going my own way.  
  
The map on my Pip Boy told me to go southwest and so I did. I was still in the middle of Boston Common and tried to avoid any conflict as best as possible. A lot of gunshots ran through the afternoon and grey clouds emerged in the sky. The _Boston Police Rationing Site_ was my first stop. I was already tired and so so hungry. Too sad I couldn’t take a bite from that Finn guy, he looked delicious. I kept dragging my body around and finally found an access point on the roof. I let myself fall down, the joints in my legs popping at the impact. Suddenly I heard the sound of digging and saw how three or four of those rats emerged beneath where I stood. My 10mm made quick work of them and I walked down a set of stairs. A protectron was standing in a corner in its pod and a terminal was next to it. I activated the robot and instantly felt a little safer.  
  
A red light caught my eye, signaling a door I didn’t notice before. Curious as I was I opened it and found myself in the basement of the rationing site. My way led me through a lot of hallways until I found a corpse with a holotape lying next to it. I listened to it but it was nothing worth of information and I moved on. In another room, I heard the hissing of those giant roaches I discovered just everywhere by now. Nick told me they once were regular roaches but due to the exposition to radiation they grew in size. In fact, he told me a lot about this new world I found myself in.  
  
I didn’t know how fast those things could be, and not only one was able to bite my legs but four and several times. The one that really hurt was the glowing one, but I managed to kill them all. Sweating I followed my path through the tunnels leading me to the _Mass Pike Tunnel West_ , where I then ran into feral ghouls. They were fast, but I finally was faster. They lashed out at me and I was able to dodge them before I put well-placed bullets between their eyes. Smelling their blood made me even more hungry and soon after I left the tunnel behind I felt sick. I really needed a place to calm down for a bit. I kept walking and walking... Another look on my Pip Boy - I took it from a skeleton in the Vault; since then I was dreaming of living skeletons almost every night - and it told me that I was nearing a place called _West Estate_. Hopefully, there would be a place to settle down for a while.  
  
It was a literal fall into the water. It started to rain a few hours ago and I was soaked to my bones. Although it was dark now it wasn’t too cold. The Place was flooded but I found some planks leading to two shacks. Even before I stepped on one the splashing of water was audible and three mirelurks emerged from the wet ground. I needed a good position to get rid of them, I just had spotted a mattress and really wanted to sleep for a while now... Slowly I crouched on the planks as silently as possible, I didn’t want to alert the mirelurks to my presence. I put the silencer on my gun and took aim. It was quick work and the creatures dead. I turned around and walked to the mattress just to see that I wasn’t able to use it. An annoyed sigh escaped my lips and disappointed and tired I moved on.  
  
And it rained and rained and rained... And finally, I could feel the cold gnawing my at bones and I coughed several times. It hurt like hell in my chest, I needed water. The liquid cooled down the pain and I moved further south to an area with two cabins standing. One was completely open on the backside, a green glow emitting from somewhere near it. Before I was able to turn around the corner I felt the roar of the monster before me as it ran to its next enemy. I heard shots and super mutants shouting all while a vertibird flew above. It was like a little part of hell broke loose and just decided to materialize where I was standing. The mutants now also began to shoot at the vertibird, which soon stood in flames. It crashed down and I saw how something big flew into my direction. I didn’t have the time to inspect what flew over me as the glowing deathclaw came back. I crouched down behind the next wall, hoping it wouldn’t find me. I was very lucky. I already saw its horns and then another foe attacked it.  
  
I took the opportunity and ran to the cabin with four protectrons inside. I activated them and waited inside. I heard several types of noises and the electronic voices of the robots before everything went quiet again. I still kept waiting for a few more minutes since my heart was racing and I felt myself sweating although it was rather cold now. With shaking legs I finally stood up and made my way around the corner seeing the glowing deathclaw lying dead before me. I remembered the thing from earlier and went on my search for it and discovered that it was a dead man clothed in some sort of jumpsuit uniform. At least I could still my hunger and stuffed my stomach so much I thought I needed to puke. I cut away a few chunks of meat from him and stuffed it into the pockets of my pants before I moved out into the still pouring rain.  
  
The ticking of my Pip Boy told me that I was at the edge of the Glowing Sea. I felt weak now, like collapsing and falling into unconsciousness and maybe never waking up again. I guessed that it was the bite of the glowing rad roach that riled my body up and went on the way to finally find a bed. The collapsed interchange before me was promising; I spotted someone over there. I sneaked my way up there and finding a raider and her dog all by themselves. Whatever they were doing here, at least it was to my advantage. I killed them both before they even knew what had hit them. The bullet I buried in the raider’s head was shot in time with the loud sound of thunder. It sounded like the air was electrified, a green glow appeared out from nowhere and covered everything inside it. The Geiger counter on my Pip Boy cackled more now as the rads grew stronger. What the fuck was that?  
  
I moved to the trailer, finally finding a mattress that was usable, water, and much-needed stimpaks. Acidic rain hit me before I finally stepped inside and burned holes into my raggedy clothing. It was all I had and now even that was destroyed, by acid. I sighed and laid down, sleeping for five hours before the next storm came in. This sucks...


	5. The Glowing Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla travels to the Glowing Sea to find Doctor Virgil.  
> She didn't know that she somewhat had a natural immunity to radiation until then.

Why it always had to be ferals was a question I couldn’t answer. I just ran into a horde first thing when I stepped into the Glowing Sea. Another mystery to me was when one of them turned against its own. Attacking them ferociously that one ghoul killed two or three of his own while I took care of the rest. I just walked past it wondering why it did that and why it didn’t attack me. I shrugged it off and kept walking in the thick green fog embracing this damned place. As I walked further I came across some bloodbugs which I successfully avoided, _just_ to run into another horde of ferals. They were fucking everywhere...  
  
So after I defeated those ferals I came past a capsized factory and tried my luck to maybe take a break from all that radiation. I didn’t feel much rads, but still enough to make me feel uncomfortable. And with that bite from the glowing radroach earlier, my senses started to short out quickly. So I went inside the building just to find out that it was extremely foggy in there. And of course, I heard the scumbling down below. This Glowing Sea was crawling with feral ghouls... But something was off. Although it was so foggy down here I was able to see a green glow, even the radiation in here seemed to be higher than outside. It didn’t take me long to find out what caused this. It was a bloated glowing feral that attacked me. After I killed it and all the other ferals I kept lingering for a while, sifting through the remnants from the past and didn’t find much.  
  
After I left the place it got warmer by the second. I finally felt how the sickness inside me was nagging at my bones, making them heavier as they were while I walked down a hillside. Another one of those storms brewed above my head. But soon I stood before a glowing village in the middle of this hell hole. The people here seemed to be immune against the radiation and in fact, as I listened closer, they _worshipped it_?! At least they were somewhat friendly and I had left my gun holstered at my side. Suddenly a woman approached me and asked why I walked across the sacred earth of Atom. I tried to explain to her that I was searching for someone called Virgil. She then told me she knew of him but that he seemed like the type of guy who didn’t want any visitors. I then told her how important it was that I find him, that this was about my son and she gave in and told me where to find him. I thanked her and moved on.  
  
Those storms were heavy here, and I guessed that I must have been at ground zero or _The Crater of Atom_ as the people here called it. Ridiculous! I didn’t know how I managed it, but since I also gained a fever it was almost impossible to move any further. My body was weak, but my mind kept me going. _This is important. Think of your son, he needs his mom. Don’t give up, you’re almost there._ Well, I was halfway there. That Mother Isolde marked a cave on my Pip Boy, down in the southwest where I was currently walking to. Another building came into view, a decrepit factory. The water around it glowed in a sickly yellow and the needle of my Pip Boys Geiger counter ticked incessantly. I was better at walking around but found myself facing a group of stingwings. I tried to get away from them as silent as possible, which shouldn’t have been that here. But I got attacked _again_ and was running for it. How could anyone live here voluntarily?! It was something I probably would never understand...  
  
Occupied with my thoughts I almost overlooked a deathclaw. Behind it, I saw an entrance into a cave and I immediately knew that was my destination. The deathclaw looked at me while I stared and mumbled incoherent words towards it. Slowly I moved into the direction of the cave, the deathclaw still standing where it stood before. I walked past it, eyes fixated at each other until I finally found myself inside the cave where I first let out that breath I was holding, just to take in a sharp one as I turned around. Two turrets faced me but didn’t whirr to life, odd...  
  
Slowly I walked deeper into the cave and heard the robotic footsteps of a protectron. “Doctor Virgil?”, I called out. I heard something shatter and a deep voice was muttering something which I didn’t understand. When Doctor Virgil turned around the first thing I did was to gasp in shock. My heart raced like I was running at a marathon. _He was a super mutant_!! First, he believed that I was sent by the Institute to kill him but soon realized that I wasn’t joking when I said that I had killed Kellogg. Needless to say that he was more than impressed. After that, he told me that I needed to kill a courser for a special machine called _The Molecular Relay_ with which the coursers teleported from the Institute into the Commonwealth. He also asked me to help him out _if_ everything worked out fine. I accepted the conditions and we had a deal. That went smoother as I expected if one left out the fact that this Virgil turned himself into a mutant...  
  
The deathclaw was still there when I came back, still standing there on the same spot as before. I wondered why it stood there and also wondered if Virgil had tamed it. It just didn’t attack me, which was more than odd. But I was happy non the less. I made my way back just as I came here and although it was in the middle of the night now, everything around me was illuminated in yellow and green. The hours ticked by and I cam nearer to the edge again I finally noticed that it had gotten darker with every step I took. And soon my Geiger counter went silent the further I walked away from the Glowing Sea. I even felt a little lighter around the heart but still sick with that fever and I was sweating.  
  
Another few hours passed before I finally stumbled into Diamond City. Before I left it the last time I went up to the mayor’s office and bought a house here, Homeplate. First I thought 2000 caps (don’t even think to ask me how I got them) was much, but when I saw how big a place Homeplate was I thought the price was well deserved. Yes, it was an old warehouse, but with enough elbow grease and housewife power, it could be a nice place to live for me and Shaun when I had him back... I stood in front of the door and fumbled in the key, a click telling me that I had finally opened the door. I stepped inside and closed the door again and then stumbled upstairs to the already standing bed. A medkit was mounted at the wall and I found some antibiotics in there. I took a good portion and went to sleep.  
  
I woke up a few days later, hungry but well again. I missed Dogmeat now that I had time to think of him. What was he doing? Was he okay? I didn’t have much time to think about him, I needed meat. And a few hours later I stood in front of a giant green building called _Greentech Genetics_ , what a fitting name that was...


	6. The Courser Chip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kayla spoke to Virgil she was on her search for a courser.

The ticking on my Pip Boy led me from the CIT Ruins to Greentech Genetics. Just as Virgil told me, impressive. I stood before the green building, searching for the front door, and I found it after rounding two corners. Complete silence greeted me when I took my first step, looking at a dead Gunner. _What the fuck had happened here?_ I asked myself. I crouched down, trying to get around as silently as possible, everything was quiet until I reached the first floor. Laser fire and gunshots. It sounded like they were everywhere around me, and suddenly a voice echoed through the comm-system and announced that the courser was on the second floor. I needed to be quick if I wanted to be the one killing him.  
  
When I moved again a bullet flew across my head. I swore under my breath when I noticed the gunner that held his gun in my direction. _Well so much for being stealthy..._ I sighed and killed him with a well-placed shot between the eyes. Sadly, all the others were alarmed to my presence and they all needed to die. First I found it overwhelming, but then smelled their blood, the freshly deceased flesh and a smile grazed my features. I was in butcher’s heaven! I contained the hunger inside me until after three more floors I reached the final one. Shortly before I stepped into the room where the courser had killed two gunners I was feasting on a woman wearing only a harness. I called her _‘Easy access meat’_ and mentally thanked her for her choice of clothing.  
  
“You. Over there. Come here!”, said a monotone voice. A man dressed in a black leather coat approached me.  
“ Are you here for the synth?”, he asked.  
“That’s not why I’m here.”, I said.  
“If you’re not here for the synth, then you’re here for me, what do you want?”

“I’m here to kill you and take what’s inside your head.”  
“That you cannot have.”  
  
And then he tapped on a small box in his hands and disappeared. Only a faint shimmer betrayed his invisibility, so I started firing in his direction. Blue lasers filled the air and the remaining gunners cowered on the floor. A heated battle started, I took a lot of burns before I was able to pin the courser down. He was strong and almost overwhelmed me, but I was able to put the final bullet to his chest and he stared at me with lifeless eyes. Fear was written across the gunners faces and they shrank even more in their cowering positions. A female voice notified me that there was someone else in the room. She asked for my help and told me where to find the password to the door where she was locked behind. I walked over to the stairs where a red toolbox was lying beneath and I pulled out a sheath of paper, the password written on it. I went back to the terminal next to the door and opened it. Her clothing looked ragged, duct tape was wrapped around her waist and left shoulder. She looked afraid but spoke with a clear voice. She told me her designation and her preferred name before she thanked me and went on her search for supplies. The gunners didn’t move when I left the building. I was betting that they shit their pants and were too afraid to smear it all over their pants.  
I laughed.  
  
My next way lead me back to Goodneighbor. On my way there I encountered a few super mutants, raiders, and feral ghouls, but nothing that wasn’t killed with a well-placed bullet between the eyes. I sighed when I closed the gate behind me and made my way to the Memory Den. Dr. Amari was so excited to see me she didn’t know what question she wanted to ask first. I sat down with her and explained what had happened since I left to find Virgil. “You fought a courser?”, she asked bewildered. I guessed it took her everything not to faint right where she sat. She took a good look at the courser chip and handed it back to me with a shaking head.  
“I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with it.”, she said with a sad voice.  
“But I know of someone who might help you. They are called The Railroad.” And she explained to me that I had to _Follow the Freedom Trail_ to find them. I thanked her for the information and left the Den behind. Being pre-war had its positive sides. I knew what the Trail was and where it ended. ‘[...] _One if by land and two if by sea.’_ was written on the plaque next to the door of the Old North Church; a reminder of the Revolutionary War in Boston. I opened the door, darkness greeted me, dust swirled through the air, and... ferals. I should have known that they would inhabit such a dark place. My silenced 10mm made quick work of the ones that darted in my direction and they staggered backward into the dust. I turned to my right and walked down some stairs into a corridor, the door open. Stone walls embraced me and green splatters illuminated the place. At least I wouldn’t alarm the ghouls too soon to my presence. I eventually arrived at a wall with a rotating ring ‘ _THE FREEDOM TRAIL OF BOSTON_ ’ engraved in it. I rotated the ring to the letter R and a mechanism clicked into place. _So it starts with an R..._ I tried the letter A, another click, I smiled. That must have been the easiest passphrase I ever solved. The wall left to the ring opened and I stepped into complete darkness. A few meters in a bright light flashed on and three people stood before me. The red-headed woman spoke, while another one with white hair aimed her minigun at me, a man was standing between them, he also had risen his pistol. I held my hands up in defeat and to show that I was no thread. While I tried to explain myself a fourth person appeared, trying to break the tension with a funny meant comment.  
  
After the shades wearing guy, Deacon was his name, vouched for me I was invited to the Railroad’s headquarters. A guy named Tinker Tom almost went head over heels because of the chip I brought him. He inserted it to a machine that was linked to a terminal and he started to babble words I didn’t understand. While he decoded the chip I took a look around. Quite a few people were around, talking about this and that. I overheard two women speaking of Deacon and that he had a lot of surgeries to change his appearance. One of them said that he was a woman once, I chuckled. Although the greeting was frosty, those people seemed okay. Tinker Tom cried out in triumph before he handed me a holotape with the code on it. Desdemona, the redhead, wanted to keep the chip to which I agreed to. Pleased with my current achievements I left the church and went back to Diamond City.  
  
It was time to rest for a while before I headed back to Virgil.


	7. The Minutemen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla goes back to the Glowing Sea and discuss things with Virgil.  
> After that she finally goes to Concord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, since I wanted to play with the Minutemen again (I know, I know, big mistake) all the settlements will need my help...  
> I've played the other factions so much already and the Minutemen only once. 
> 
> So here, have a Garvey...

I took a few days off in Diamond City and it was much needed that I finally changed my clothes. Those old rags weren’t good anymore and the acidic rain a few days ago did it’s number on them too. The only thing I had was Kellogg’s outfit so I put it on. I don’t know how, but it hugged my thin body very well and I was amazed how good some ‘new’ clothes felt on my skin. And all those pockets! I finally was able to stuff enough water and antibiotics for my journeys for the way there _and_ back. A smile formed on my lips and I wondered for the first time when the last time was that my smiles weren’t forced. So with some newfound good mood I went on. My way led me out of Diamond City, I came past _Hardware Town_ and the _Boston Police Rationing Site._ I walked around _Coast Guard Pier_ and backed off immediately when I heard the super mutants there. Gladly I was far enough away for them to notice _me,_ it was foggy the whole day already and I moved along quickly. I so was _not_ in the mood to fight against greenskins...  
  
 _Robotics Pioneer Park._ I remembered that place from before, the protectrons still walked their parade around the place, and to their stomping added another well-known sound. A vertibird flew past me to a dump called _Scrap Palace_ , another super mutant infested place in the Commonwealth. I sighed and tried to walk away from the fight when two knights in power armor jumped out of the vertibird. Their landing shook the earth beneath my feet “ _For the Brotherhood!_ ” they had shouted as they rushed into the place to shoot the mutants dead. I just stood there, amazed that none of the two was injured after that jump; power armor was one hell of a lifesaver. I still looked after them and almost overheard the beeping of a suicider than ran towards me. With a literal jump, I moved backward and pulled out my 10mm to shoot it. _The legs, remember, slow them down._ And before the mutant was even able to reach me it was dead, the knights long gone and it was finally quiet again.  
  
Too quiet... I didn’t even hear the clanking of power armor anymore, and since I was hungry I went to search for bodies. There were none and I left the place behind with a sigh. I came to the broken interstate at the Edge of the Glowing Sea again in hopes to find a new raider who might’ve occupied the place again but again I got disappointed. No one was there but I took the opportunity to get a well-deserved rest. After five hours it was dark, at least the fog was gone now. I wished I wasn’t alone. The Glowing Sea showed me again how dangerous it was... I ran into a rad-scorpion and it was able to hit me. Panicked I shot it and ran away deeper into the green glow which was emitted by the _Crater of Atom_ , the nuke zone. I climbed up a small rock side and looked down. The people there still were up and about and I felt how my stomach screamed for fresh meat.  
  
I ran. Past the Crater, past the people living there. Virgil was more important than my hunger. Another rocky hillside I had to climb up and I was almost there. I turned off the light of my Pip Boy just before I saw that the same deathclaw was sleeping in front of Virgil’s cave. So it _really did_ protect the place after all. I crouched down and snuck past it, my eyes always fixated on it’s sleeping form. I sighed when I finally stood under the rocky ceiling and heard the whirring of the turrets in front of me. I stepped deeper into the cave, a surprised Virgil greeted me. He almost couldn’t believe it when I was standing in front of him _and wearing Kellogg’s clothes_! It surely made him flinch a little, but he caught himself in seconds. We talked back and forth and he found it ridiculous that I had asked the Railroad to help decode the Courser Chip. But he was glad that I was able to do so and he also handed me some schematics for a device called _The Molecular Relay_ which I needed to hijack myself into the Institute.  
  
After we discussed everything – I had to promise Virgil that if I made it into the Institute, that I needed to find his serum and bring it back to him – I left again, Red Rocket marked on my map. I really wanted to see Dogmeat again. Another long trip through the night with an empty stomach. This time I directly climbed up and didn’t sneak past the sleeping deathclaw since my way led me directly into the north and although I was so hungry I began to run. And I had a lot of running to do since I came past some more rad-scorpions and even stingwings. They had no chance to follow me, I just kept running; I wanted to leave the Glowing Sea as fast as possible. Soon I ran past the edge and things looked normal again. I came to a place called _Boston Mayoral Shelter_ and looked around for people, or at least some raiders or a freshly killed body... I walked inside the first building but found nothing more than three skeletons and a terminal that opened a door. I heard it hissing and made my way to the bunker, more skeletons littered the ground. This was a fucking graveyard... But I still kept pushing until I ran into the first laser turret. I heard it whirr to live directly above my head and ducked to cover just in the last second or it would have hit me. I aimed my 10mm at the turret and it exploded after a single shot. I sighed and moved on to an elevator. Maybe down there was someone still alive. I knew that raiders loved such places, but when the elevator opened I got disappointed again.  
  
More skeletons littered the ground, this place definitely was huger than I had expected. Another two turrets whirred and I shot at them quickly. Tiny pieces fell down and shattered through the silence. I sighed, this didn’t make any sense at all, so I turned around and went back and left the place behind. When I stepped out of the bunker the sun began to rise, it finally was morning again but I was still hungry. I saw a satellite array a bit away from my position and jogged in its direction. It turned out that this was the _Fort Hagen Satellite Array_ and that place crawled with super mutants; another location I gladly walked by in silence.  
  
I was desperate now. No fresh meat in sight the further my way led me up to the north. At this point, I really considered trying the meat of ferals and even mutants, but I had no idea how they might taste. Probably rotten and moldy, who knew that anyway... I shook my head and kept walking. Finally, the giant rocket was visible, I was finally home. Dogmeat came running and barked at me joyfully. I guess he missed me just as much as I missed him and it was so good to see that he was well. So while I walked to my home I saw a woman walking around, I didn’t know her; all I was able to care about was the satisfaction that finally someone came into my eyesight who _wasn’t_ dead or green and tried to kill me. She didn’t notice me and it was easy to kill her with a shot through her head. She fell down with a thud and I ran over and ripped off the fabric on her body. I dug deep into her sweet, still warm flesh. Her blood tasted like sweet nectar, her muscles were juicy and she _smelled so good_...  
  
After my ‘breakfast’ I put the body aside and went to bed. Who thought that I would sleep for a full twenty-four hours? My mouth was dry after I woke up, I needed some water. After I had gulped down a can of purified water I finally made my way down to Concord. And of course, it was storming, seems like I really have some luck with the weather lately... At least the raiders didn’t hear my approach, and with the silencer, on my 10mm they didn’t even notice how I thinned their lines in front of the _Museum of Freedom_ until the last of those low life assholes was dead. I shrugged nonchalantly and ripped off the flesh of the closest raider and ate it. He didn’t taste as good as the woman I had yesterday, probably because he was full with chems.  
  
The shouting of a guy startled me because I didn’t see him first until he said he was up on a balcony. Seems like he was one of those trapped people Nick told me about some time ago. I didn’t lose much time when I entered the museum. I was crouched down and silently shot down two raiders and moved on. I fell down in front of another door. The trademark rumble of a fusion core in a reactor was audible, well I stood in front of it more or less. A locked door blocked my way and I took out a bobby pin and a screwdriver to unlock the door. It clicked and I said “yes!” to myself as I swung open the door and grabbed that fusion core. More raiders were around and they all got killed by my hands.  
  
Finally, I came to a room where that man and four others were hiding in, we talked for a moment and this handsome guy explained to me that there was a vertibird on the roof including a minigun and power armor. He also said they couldn’t get the fusion core from downstairs to which I smiled and held it up for everyone to see. The guy – Sturges was his name – mirrored my smile and I got sent on my way up to the roof. He wasn’t lying, there was indeed a vertibird, a minigun, and the suit of power armor. So I stepped forward, pushed the fusion core to it’s meant place, and pulled on the wheel. The suit opened up with a hiss and closed around me with the same sound. It felt weird to be encased by such an amount of metal and walking sure wasn’t easy. How should I rip off that minigun? Well, to find that out I needed to try, and it was pretty easy, to say the least. More raiders suddenly had appeared and I had my hands full with killing them. I heard them shouting that someone was on the roof, and I heard how their bullets pinged against the suit and clattered down to the ground. The last step I took was a mistake, ‘cause I didn’t watch out when the roof was ending and I fell down...  
  
The ground shattered as I landed on my feet, my whole body was vibrating and I almost dropped the minigun. It took me a moment to see straight again and then the rampage went on. Raider after raider fell down, shredded like a piece of paper until I saw how the grid on the ground began to shake. I wasn’t far away and my eyes widened when the grid flew away and a deathclaw emerged from the sewer. Even the raiders concentrated their fire on the beast now which gave me time to back off a bit while the minigun whirred to life. It wasn’t that late when the last raider was sliced into pieces and the deathclaw lashed out at me. The minigun in my hands was already glowing orange and I thought it might overheat and would leave me defenseless... But then the deathclaw roared one last time, its blood dripping on the concrete underneath its feet and it shattered down. Again the ground shook and I finally let out that breath I was holding in. I almost saw stars after that ordeal and felt myself sway a little.  
  
I walked back on wobbly feet and stepped out of the metal suit right in front of the door, and then pulled out the fusion core. As I opened the door the five people were already downstairs and that Preston Garvey asked me if I wanted to join them in Sanctuary. I declined, all my memories of the place were bad ones. But I accepted to help them get there and start a new life.  
  
Beds were built, crops planted and the water purifier had energy again. I even built some defenses for those people and Sturges told me I’d always have an open door with him. If that wasn’t an invitation for more I wouldn’t know what else he suggested. I waved at him before I went to take a break. It was a long few days and I only went home to get some sleep, help them again, get some sleep, you get what I’m trying to say...  
  
I relaxed for a while until Preston approached me. He asked again if I really was sure about not joining the Minutemen. I sighed and for my own sake, I did agree. I didn’t know the trouble would start now. All I wanted to do was to build that Signal Interceptor...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> I almost stopped writing because my head and neck are killing me...  
> Gladly I pulled through and don't have to deal with the Garvey for a while now.
> 
> Bye you sweet cheeks <3


	8. Corvega

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla goes on her first mission for the Minutemen.

I was resupplying at the Truck Stop before heading into the east. My path led me across _Thicket Excavations_ , a place I knew from before the war. I walked over to the stone edge and looked down. The quarry was filled to the top with water and I saw a man walking around a pump like machine. Whatever he tried to accomplish down there, I wouldn’t let myself be concerned with it and moved on.  
  
It didn’t take too long before I ran into a group of super mutants. Gladly I was far enough away for the suicider to attack me and it was dead long before the others knew where the shots came from. Three more mutants tried to attack me, one even was successful as it shot past my head, but soon was dead too. _Who thought that a woman with just a 10mm would be this badass?  
  
_ It was getting dark now but I already could make out the farm’s building. _Tenpines Bluff_ laid before me, the tato field shimmered in red as the sun set down and the settlers were still doing their farm life business. A woman was working in the field while a man sat at a cooking station as I approached him. I wasn’t even able to call out for him and I already had a barrel shoved into my face. He grumbled something about that I should leave again and that they didn’t want any more trouble than they already had. I calmed him down and told him I was with the Minutemen to which he reacted in surprise. He told me that he didn’t believe that someone would ever come after he had called for help, but here I stood. He told me about some Raiders that caused him and his wife some trouble and he asked me if I could help him in any way. I agreed and he gave me the location I needed to go to.  
  
So I walked south, the _Corvega Assembling Plant_ in Lexington was my destination. It was finally night when I arrived and I could hear a noise I never heard before. Soon I also heard and saw some raiders fight against a few ferals. I tried to be as silent as possible as I sneaked past the scene and heard that noise again and immediately after it gunshots. I crossed a corner, who guessed it, two vertibirds were circling above _Corvega_ and I saw how two people in power armor jumped out of one of the flying vehicle. Gladly I was far away enough as I watched the two knights sprint into action against the raiders while the vertibirds kept flying overhead and attacked the building. Cars exploded as the ‘birds kept shooting. _What else was there than just a few raiders?_  
  
When I had seen enough I went on, the raiders inside sure didn’t kill themselves, at least not yet, and there was a door directly in front of me. First I was walking down where I killed at least four raiders, one of them needed four shots until he finally was dead. My way through _Corvega_ led me through several doors and floors, and I had quite a kill count by now. Voices let me halt in my motion and I could hear how two of the raiders were talking about a third one they had sent to look after a malfunctioning turret. He was gone for at least ten minutes now and they were afraid of losing another turret. I silently approached them from behind and made sure they would never have to fear about broken tech again with a bullet into both their heads.  
  
I found myself circling the location and knew that this wasn’t the right place and moved on. I stepped through another door, this time using the stairs upwards, and almost got blinded by a floodlight. I took a well-aimed shot and the light rained down in tiny pieces of glass, looking around was now comfortable again. Another door led me into another corridor and I was able to hear steps, but no one was in sight. Slowly I moved forward and I came past a shelf and walked around it. The wall in front of me was broken down and I saw another raider on the other side. I crouched down and took aim, the next body on my kill count slumped down. Then I walked through the wall into the next corridor, a window with missing glass was in front of me. A woman was on the other side, she didn’t notice me yet and before she was able to turn around, she also was dead.  
  
I turned left and found myself in front of a blue double door and as I opened it I was in the entry area of the assembling plant. Next to the door was one of those ape toys with the cymbals in its hands and it stood on a shelf, its eyes starting to glow, and then it started to clap. _What the fuck had that supposed to mean?_ I asked myself. But before something could happen I just shot off the head and nothing happened. I walked around and noticed a toilet, it’s inhabitant didn’t notice me either and also was dead in seconds. _Well, here goes nothing_. I walked back the same way I just came and noticed a working elevator. I pushed the button and it opened and iiI stepped and pushed the button there. ‘Going _up’_ it had exclaimed and only a few seconds later the door dinged open. I stepped out and now stood in the main production hall, and who guessed it? Yes, even more raiders. I killed one and automatically alerted the others in the area. But again I was able to eliminate them just before I ran into a turret...  
  
Several bullets grazed my skin and I cried out in pain before I fell down and searched for cover and shooting the turret into pieces. I needed a stimpak, asap! After injecting the liquid I felt much better and was able to get up again, it was finally quiet.

When I walked over the metal catwalk, there was a red button on the right side and I pushed it. A bridge rattled to life and connected the walkway I stood on with the opposite of me and I was able to walk to the control room where a terminal stood. It read _‘Jared’s Terminal’_ and I guessed the guy lying just outside must have been that _‘Jared’_ and damn he looked delicious...

  
After I ate some of his flesh I was on my way back out of the _Corvega Assembling Plant_ to _Tenpines Bluff_ , as I opened the door and stepped out I realized that I was longer there than I had expected; the sun had risen and it was morning. When I looked up I saw how the vertibirds still circled around the building but stopped shooting a long time ago. And then I finally found out what caused those weird noises I heard hours before. A giant super mutant laid there on the stairs, a shopping cart strapped to it’s back and a fire hydrant in the now limp hand. Whatever kind of super mutant that was, it was fucking huge. And after I had satisfied my curiosity I finally made my way back.  
  
A rotten landfill came into my view and I heard gunshots. A man was fighting against a horde of mole rats. It wasn’t surprising that a third vertibird emerged and landed nearby. Two people in uniforms, one in power armor and one dog jumped out and walked towards the commotion while the ‘bird flew back to the airport where their giant airship was stationed. First, it looked like they wouldn’t help the man so I ran into his direction, several molerats died by my hand but it looked like I was too late. The man was lying on the ground circled by more mole rats. I tried to shoot them without hitting him, but soon I had to realize that he was already dead. It was then that those Brotherhood soldiers finally started to shoot at the mole rats, but mostly because the critters started to attack them. I helped them out but not one of the three people thanked me. So much for aid in difficult situations... So my way led me up into the north.  
  
Back at _Tenpines Bluff,_ I spoke to the guy I was speaking to the day before, he seemed very pleased with my success against the raiders and handed me over some bottlecaps before he told me that he and his wife would join the Minutemen. Pleased with my current achievement I walked back to Sanctuary Hills.  
  
Shortly before the Truck Stop, I got attacked by raiders and mole rats. Gladly I was able to defend myself and fought off the enemies before I went to get Dogmeat and finally walked up to Sanctuary to talk with Preston. Of course, he was babbling about the past, how he lost fifteen people in a short amount of time, spoke about the _Quincy Massacre,_ and whatnot. Honestly, I didn’t listen that much, my eyes were scanning the area if Sturges was around. But I almost jumped when Preston elected me as the new General of the Minutemen. I looked at him in disbelief before he told me about _‘Another settlement needs your help, I mark it on your map’_ and I sighed. When I finally found Sturges I excused myself and walked over to him.  
  
His smile grew wide as I approached him and he took me into a hug. I asked him for a special favor and he followed me into one of the empty houses. Dogmeat just strolled around the place and wasn’t seen.  
  
I wasn’t even able to turn around fast enough and I already had greedy lips on mine. Sturges held me at my hips and pulled me into him before he broke the kiss and started to undress me. _That was exactly what I needed!_ I didn’t hesitate to do the same with him as I unstrapped his mechanics suit. I admired the view of his toned body and let out a low whistle to which he chuckled. There wasn’t much time for anything else as he was directly going on with it. He turned me around, softly pressed me down so that I was on all four and then he slammed himself into me.  
  
Gladly we were too far away for the others to hear what Sturges and I were doing. I moaned loudly as he fucked me senseless and I came several times under his care. He even pulled my hair and harshly grabbed at my breasts and squeezed them, but _fuck it felt so good._ My mouth slipped out his name and he quickened his pace. That man was a machine god damnit! He just kept fucking me until I slumped down under his weight and he pulled out before he turned me around. I knew what he wanted and took him into my mouth and sucked him like he was the only straw of survival. His groans were so sexy when he came and he filled my mouth to the brim with his juices. The taste was something I never tasted before but it was overwhelming like my mouth had its very own orgasm and I sighed after I swallowed his load.  
  
After we had redressed again I said my goodbyes to Sturges and went on my way home, whistling for Dogmeat to follow me. The dog came running with a bark and I ruffled his fur as we crossed the bridge to home.


	9. Kidnapping at Greentop Nusery/The Molecular Relay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla goes and helps another settlement.  
> Preston finally tells her to see Sturges and together they build the Signal Interceptor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being inactive for so long.  
> My grandma died last month and it took me long to finally close that chapter of a fucked up family. I'm so happy that I don't have to deal with two aunts anymore... Greedy bitches who didn't even give me something for my wedding last year... So much for "treating everyone equally". FUCK YOU!
> 
> I hope you all doing good. Germany currently has a heatwave and doing anything besides not moving is exhausting as fuck...
> 
> Love you all. Thanks for still sticking with me <3

Morning came good and I felt like a new woman after waking up. Who thought that I was missing sex so much? I wasn’t even sore after the little liaison but it sure lifted my mood. I spend most of the day relaxing and even Dogmeat couldn’t bring himself to chase the molerats this time.  
Only the arrival of dawn made me move. It was getting dark and again I made my way down through the streets of Concord with Dogmeat at my side.  
  
The first incident happened at _Bedford Station_ where I got attacked by a group of ferals. Dogmeat growled as one hit me from behind and I fell down. Gladly I had my gun in hand and placed a bullet between its eyes. Others were running at me but I was able to make quick work of them before Dogmeat walked over and licked all over my face. I patted his fur and told him that I was fine, which seemed to set him at ease.  
  
After I brushed myself off we moved again. Our way led us into the east into the direction of _General Atomics Galeria._ I knew the place from before and didn’t think it would have survived the bombs. But there it stood in all its glory. I wanted to walk over and see what the lonely Mr. Handy was up to when I was attacked by super mutants. They were no big deal, and honestly, they _are_ really dumb...  
  
As I walked down a hill I saw water before me, and walking around it seemed to just take too much of my time. So I began to descend because I wanted to swim through it. Two raiders and a dog had their camp there and I saw them almost too late. The one in front of me began to shoot but I dodged the bullets while Dogmeat made quick work of their attack dog. When I was finally able to kill the raider in front of me the second one attacked me from behind. Searing pain blinded my vision and I needed a moment to catch my breath when I heard how that lowlife was struggling. Dogmeat had the raider's arm in the grip of his jaw and shook his head rapidly. The raider growled in pain and I ended his life with a bullet to his head.  
As I stood up I was angry with myself. How could I be so fixated on one dangerous thing while the other was lurking behind me? I walked over to the body with long strides, fell down to my knees, and ripped open his clothes before I tore off a junk of flesh and ate it. Dogmeat sat beside me and waited patiently.  
  
After I stilled my hunger we finally were down at the shore of _Dark Hollow Pond_ and I already stepped into the water as another foe emerged. A greenish glowing mirelurk hunter aimed in my direction and I lifted my gun again. It wouldn’t take long and I would run out of ammo... The shell of the mirelurk hunter was thick and I felt like shooting at a bullet sponge. Finally, the last bullet of my current magazine did the trick and the critter died with a loud screech. I made a beeline and ran into the water before another mirelurk could appear and minutes later I was finally safe.  
  
I only faintly recognized the place before me. The _Old Gullet Sinkhole_ didn’t look like it did all those years ago. I couldn’t believe that it now finally had swallowed up all those buildings, even water fell down there and I was wondering if there was an underground lake or something. Maybe one day I would find out. But today wasn’t that day. The buzzing of wings woke me from my reverie and four stingwings flew into my direction. I knew they would, didn’t I hear them when I first took a step to the sinkhole...  
  
They all did their best to pinch me and damn did it hurt! Who thought that walking to a settlement would be this painful..? I was bleeding from several wounds now and it looked like the bugs went into a frenzy and attacked heavier. Shooting them wasn’t easy and Dogmeat tried his best to keep them from pinching me. After a long fight and four dead stingwings, I sat there shaking. I needed a stimpak, I was thirsty and in much need of some blood.  
Gladly I had most of the required things with me and I took a break to calm down for a bit. It wouldn’t do good if I showed up bleeding and collapsing in front of those settlers before I was even able to offer my help...  
  
___  
  
A man was standing all by himself at _Greentop Nursery_ , he looked distressed and after I made myself noticeable he hurried over and told me that his wife was kidnapped and brought to _Medford Memorial Hospital_. I told him that I would bring her home safely and moved on, Dogmeat at my heels.  
  
Near the hospital, I heard shots ring through the air, and shortly after cars exploded in bright balls of fire. A caravan was fighting against the super mutants that lived there. I jumped into action and helped saving the caravaners and their brahmin and soon silence fell like the dust surrounding us. I jumped as Dogmeat barked alerted. While the caravan moved on he led me around a building where a deathclaw was roaming the area. Silently and slowly I turned around and walked away, the doors of _Medford_ already in front of me.  
  
 _Didn’t the settler say his wife was kidnapped by raiders? This doesn’t look like raiders..._  
  
I crouched down, gun drawn with a full mag and I opened the door. The stench of decay, blood, and rotting flesh hit my nose and I had to suppress gagging. Even as a cannibal this was too much... I looked around, a mutant sat behind a counter left of the entrance. It was covered in chains, a suicider. The silencer on my 10mm did its work and no other mutant in the building was alerted when I shot down the immediate danger. On the right was a flight of stairs which Dogmeat and I took to get up onto the next floor. Just as I wanted to walk up the makeshift ramp one of the green-skinned monsters appeared. It almost saw me and I placed a shot between its eyes and it slumped down.  
  
A locked door was in front of me. Picking the lock wasn’t easy and I broke a few bobby pins, but in the end, it clicked and I was able to open it. Now I stood in the _Operating Theater_ and could hear the murmurs of far away mutants. Another closed door was in front of me but it had no lock to pick. A terminal was glowing behind a desk and I walked over. Bingo, no password, it just needed the command to open the door. And so I entered it and the door swung open.  
  
Two hounds and a super mutant greeted me with bare teeth and howling. I could see a woman cowering in the far corner of the room. She looked at me terrified and I knew she was the kidnapped wife. Gladly I still stood behind the counter, ducked, and also opened fire. Dogmeat went on one of the mutant hounds and killed it ferociously while I took care of the mutant. Together we killed the last hound and began to search for a way to get to the woman. Another small flight of stairs led me to a corridor, one last super mutant was walking there with its gun drawn. Dogmeat and I killed it and rushed to the woman to free her. She was very grateful and followed me and we took the same way I was taking to get to her.  
  
When we came to the makeshift ramp another hound had appeared. This place was huge, who knew where it was hiding. It didn’t matter after I shot it and we finally stepped outside. The sun was about to rise and the sky was colored in orange, violet, and blue. The stars still shone and it almost looked peaceful. It was 05:25 when we arrived at _Greentop Nursery_ , the man was still sleeping and I sat down and waited for him to wake up. He really did take his time, it was noon when he finally woke up again. First, he looked at me puzzled, but soon smiled when I told him his wife was safe now. It was then that he told me that he and his wife decided to join the minutemen and he handed over a few caps. I nodded and went back to Sanctuary Hills.  
  
I walked back to Sanctuary the same way I got to the farm. The grumbling of my stomach reminded me how hungry I really was and to my surprise, the second corpse of the raiders still laid there. I felt my mouth water, I knew how long he was dead, _I did kill him myself_ just a few hours before after all. I took my sweet time and filled my stomach with as much as it could hold before I made my way back again.  
  
___  
  
Concord was already in sight when I heard how three people were arguing over something. I walked over and listened for a while. There was a bald man who aimed his gun at another one with dark hair and a beard while a woman stood at the side frightened. I stepped between them to prevent the worst and the bald man, Fred, told me that the other, Jules, was a synth. Fred was terrified that his friend confessed this to him and already had his finger on the trigger. I tried as best as possible to defuse the situation and asked this Fred if Jules tried to kill him in the first place. To this Fred had no real answer, the woman, Angie, agreed with me and the dark-haired man was allowed to leave the place. I kept standing there, making sure nothing else happened, and turned around after no one said a word again. Dogmeat was on alert all the time and now followed me like nothing happened.  
  
It had started to rain at some point in my journey and I was soaked to the bones as Dogmeat and I walked past the Truck Stop, looking longingly at it. I wish I could go home now, but Preston had top priority. I sighed long and crossed the broken bridge to my old home. Preston walked his rounds and I found him instantly. I walked to him and before I could say something he asked me about the Signal Interceptor. My jaw dropped as he told me that I should search for Sturges to help me build it. After that, I was finally able to tell him that the settlers of _Greentop Nursery_ were joining the Minutemen to which Preston reacted with joy. Of course, he already had “Another settlement that needs help” but I couldn’t care less.  
  
To my own surprise I followed Preston inside the house we built together and Jun Long approached me. I did understand him, he lost his son, but I couldn’t stand his sad face and was glad when he just walked away after thanking me for saving him and the others in Concord.  
I found Sturges upstairs on the balcony where he sat at a table with an umbrella. Why he would sit in the rain was out of my mind, but my heart skipped a beat at the smile on his face as he noticed me. He asked what I could do for him and I tried to explain as best as possible what needed to be done. I handed him the plans and told him that he made a good job deciphering Virgil’s handwriting. “Don’t thank me yet.”, he said with an eyebrow wiggle as he kept talking about the plans. After we settled on what to start first with I made my way down again and stood at the empty spot in front of me where once stood a house of one of my neighbors.  
  
It took several hours to build the _Stabilized Reflector Platform_ but when I finished it I couldn’t believe that my hands were able to do something complicated as building a high-tech platform. Sturges was more than excited when he saw my handiwork and smiled at me in awe. After that, he told me that there were some important parts missing. Gladly I had the stuff already back at the Truck Stop and I told him I’d be right there again with them.  
  
It took Sturges and me several days to build the whole _Molecular Relay_ but we did it. We smiled at each other as he asked me if I was ready to give it a try. Blue sparks flew above us and the machine hissed. Sturges told me that I just had to stand on the platform and he handed over a holotape. He explained that there was a network scanner on it and said that this was a great opportunity to get more information about the institute. While he told me that the look on his face changed to something like pain. _Was he sad?_ I couldn’t tell. My nerves were on the fritz and I couldn’t believe that we were really doing this.  
  
Sturges walked over to the console and pushed a few buttons. A tube above my head loosened and flew through the air, spitting out hot steam before bright blue lightning hit me. Sturges looked at me and said “Kayla, I-” but searing hot pain shot through my body and then I was gone...


	10. The Institute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayla successfully made it to the Institute. She indeed finds her son, but he's not what or who she thought he would be.  
> And there's other things that frighten her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I wasn't too detailed about how the Institute looks. You people know already anyway ;-)  
> I wanted to go with Kayla's feelings. And I hope it shows, also with the "thing" she has going with our favorite mechanic. 
> 
> I'm gonna leave out all the "help this and that settlement" stuff and start writing again after Pressy decides to get rid of the Institute.  
> I still wanna try to search for Kayla's feelings and also wanna write a chapter about her past before Nate.  
> There's a reason she became such a good shot. I still need to figure out how.

I fell to my knees, I still saw stars as I opened my eyes and I felt nauseous. After a few blinks, they finally adjusted to the room surrounding me. There were funny lights everywhere and when I looked up even there were a lot of them. Weird.  
  
I stepped out into the bright white room, currently thinking of where to put that network scanner Sturges gave me just as I walked towards a console. That was too easy... I inserted the holotape anyway and started the scan. After a short moment, all the data was downloaded and I took the holotape back into one of my pockets.  
  
Suddenly a voice started to speak. I didn’t really listen, I just followed the hallway to that elevator the man was talking about and stepped inside. I couldn’t believe my eyes as the elevator descended into the ground. Trees, _real_ _green_ _trees!_ Water, and everything was _so clean_... It was like getting thrown back in time and I got lost in my memories for a moment. The halt of the elevator surprised me a little. People and Synth alike were walking and talking to each other as I stepped out, still hearing how that voice was rambling on. I was in another hallway that led to another elevator. Just before I stepped in the voice had said that it knew why I was here, that I was looking for my son. My heart started to beat faster.  
  
The door to a room opened. I stepped inside and couldn’t comprehend the scene before my eyes. A locked door and a wall of glass separated me from him. _Shaun!_ I called out for him, but of course, he didn’t recognize me. I tried so hard to soothe him but all he did was panicking even more and calling for “Father” all the time.  
  
Tears streamed down my face. It broke my heart to see him in such distress but no matter what I did, he didn’t stop panicking. I fell down to my knees, crying, begging. Nothing helped...  
  
A door opened, an old grey-haired man in a white lab coat walked in and said “Shaun, S9-23, recall code Cirrus” and the boy immediately stopped calling for him, his head and shoulders slumped down. I screamed. The man told me how ‘ _unfortunate’_ and _‘disappointing’_ this behavior was.  
  
The man just didn’t stop talking, asking me things I had no answer to. And I nearly fainted when he told me that he was the real Shaun. This wasn’t real, that wasn’t my baby boy... More tears escaped my eyes and I felt my hand snap to the gun at my side. This ‘Shaun’ asked me if it was too surreal that it had been in fact sixty years, and not ten since they took him from me. I couldn’t believe it.  
  
My fists clenched at my sides as he told me about how the Institute made great strides in the synth production as they took him. All I was able to say was that the Institute only needed specimens. He laughed at this and simply answered with a “yes”. How great of an opportunity it was for them, finding him – an infant frozen in time – to get untouched, non radiated DNA. It was wrong.  
  
I heard enough, but he just kept talking and anger rose to rage. I needed to get out of there or something horrible would happen... But suddenly, Shaun said that I should meet the division heads, getting myself familiar with everyone, because this would be my home too. I would have spit in front of his feet, but he was my son...  
  
So I went downstairs and did what he had told me. First I met Allie Filmore from Facilities, she seemed nice, very open about me being there, and explained to me what her division was responsible for. After listening to her she asked me if I wanted to join their cause. I told her that I didn’t know yet. She agreed, it was a tough decision to make. We said goodbye and I went to the next division.  
  
A green trail on the ground led me into the Bio Science wing. Two men were discussing about a ‘specimen’? as I walked by. The head of this division was Clayton Holden, also very friendly and gave me full information about their work. He even told me about the synthetic gorillas they had made. I thought it was a waste of time, but he thought otherwise. Clayton too asked me if I wanted to join the Institute, but I gave him the same answer as Allie before.  
  
Next on the list was Advanced Systems, the place where they worked on applied physics, whatever that meant... And I met Dr. Madison Li there. She was attentive and a bit irritating, but she also told me what they were doing and even upgraded my Pip Boy. I was able to teleport to and from the Institute now. I said my thanks and headed on.  
  
The SRB – the Synth Retention Bureau really hit a nerve. All those screens with live pictures of the Commonwealth, they were watching us all the time... And when I approached the current director of this section, Justin Ayo, I could really feel his hostility. Telling him that his Coursers were useless was satisfying as hell. He snorted and said that he now had to look at the whole batch of coursers and that Advanced Systems needed to check them for any errors.  
  
After this last and very exhausting visit, I had to return to ‘Father’ and went on my way. While I walked all those steps, I felt how very angry I was. Those people had all the things to change the world I got thrown into. But all they did was creating slaves that terrified the people in the wasteland. Breathing living beings, and yet I didn’t know that Shaun wanted me to find one and bring him back.  
  
When I was back at Shaun’s room he sat on a chair, a glass in hand, and smiled at me. It felt so wrong and I wanted to punch his face. Only now I noticed how much he looked like Nate but had my eyes. Then he told me about ‘Gabriel’, a synth that had escaped the Institute, got his mind erased, and now caused terror as a raider. I didn’t want to hear it.  
  
I asked Shaun if those synths didn’t have the right for a free will. His answer shocked me to my core and coolly I said to him that they were only slaves then. I needed to get out.  
  
___  
  
  
A flash of light illuminated the nightly sky. I stood before the Truck Stop and again fell to my knees. Crying, screaming, and trying to breathe in the air, all at the same time. Dogmeat trotted over and nudged me, making sure I was okay, and signaled to me to follow him. My good boy...  
  
Days had passed and I just sat there in the Truck Stop, not moving, just staring. Since I woke up my whole life was a damn lie. The son I lost? A Monster. The man who kidnapped him? A cruel bastard, but with the same fate as mine. Did I regret killing him? Of course not, I did that asshole a favor!  
  
After I finally had my shit together it was time to hurry over to Sanctuary and give Sturges the holotape. And hurry I did. I was running over the broken bridge, my way leading me to a broken machine that was now black and smoking. It took my breath away and I just realized how very lucky we were. Sturges and the others because the machine gladly didn’t explode and me because it didn’t vaporize me the second I stepped on it.  
  
It was a big lump I had to swallow, and slowly I walked to the house straight to Sturges’ room. He was sleeping and I almost felt bad for waking him. “Hey, Sturges.”, I said softly and as he opened his eyes I waved to holotape into his face. He blinked at me and then at the little orange and white thing in my hand. His face lit up immediately and he snatched the holotape out of my hand. I asked him what he expected to find on that tape and he said just everything those fuckers were hiding. “I missed you.”, he had said... Before I could say anything he grabbed me by the waist and his mouth sealed mine.  
  
___  
  
Need. There was so much need. My need for sex, but I couldn’t get a grip on what it was for Sturges. We undressed each other and threw the clothes through the small room he was sleeping in. Gladly it had a door so no one was able to look inside. He still held me, started to trail kisses down my jawline to my neck and my breasts. I sighed as he began to map each and every centimeter of my skin, the bones that were very prominent, licking them all with his hot tongue. His fingers grazed down on my sides and I shivered.  
  
My breath hitched as Sturges took a nipple into his mouth and sucked at it and kneaded the other before he also took it in. all I could do was standing there, holding onto him to steady myself. It wasn’t necessary after he gently turned me and I was sitting on his bed. He knelt down leaving kisses on my thighs as he gently spread open my legs. I didn’t resist him and watched how he worked from thigh to thigh before he was taking care of my center.  
  
It was hot and wet, perfectly fine to insert a finger or two. It felt so good... His rough and thick fingers inside me, I almost came immediately. And then he started to use his tongue _oh God..._  
It took everything in me not to scream and alert the others as I panted while having an orgasm.  
  
His face was glistening with my juices as he looked up, looking a very delicious piece of meat and I pulled his shoulders to me as I smashed my mouth into his. Chaotic, yes, but so very delicious. I totally had forgotten how I tasted and a smile crossed my face now that I remembered.  
  
I laid back down on the bed completely, allowing Sturges to position himself above me. Before he was able to thrust inside me I had my arms wrapped around his neck and I pulled him down. His pace was slow, the kisses passionately. I knew something had changed. The first time we had sex it was rough, but now- now it was almost romantic. It didn’t sit well with me. But the friction of him inside me erased my ability to think straight. He just hit my pleasure spot right and I cried out.  
  
After this, I turned things around. Sturges was now lying underneath me and I straddled him. I grazed my nails across his chest, fine red lines appeared and I could feel his breath quicken. I rocked at him agonizingly slowly and I could feel how he tensed under my care. “Please...”, he begged with a whisper. I bit my lip and finally took my seat on him, still keeping that slow pace. I felt the growl forming in his chest, he was getting frustrated now while I enjoyed myself.  
  
I leaned down to capture his lower lip between my teeth and bit down, hard. I could taste his blood and it drove me crazy. He hissed and grabbed my hips as I began to ride him faster. His grip tightened even more and soon he held me in place as he thrusted upwards. The speed he was pumping with was inhuman but so good. This position was even better than getting fucked from behind. I could see that he was close and pried myself off of him. First, he looked bewildered, but when I took him with my mouth he twitched and I was the one to hold him in place.  
  
After I had cleaned myself I began to redress, but Sturges asked if I could stay. He wore boxers and laid in bed, looking at me with those eyes... I couldn’t say no and also didn’t know why. To my surprise, he cuddled against me as I laid back in bed. I was trapped while he fell asleep again.  
  
It was still early, but somehow I managed to sneak out of his room, this was too much for me. This closeness... I wasn’t ready for this. Dogmeat was outside and perked up when he heard me. “Come on boy.”, I whispered at him. He stretched his body, yawned, and followed me down to _Starlight Drive-In._  
  
Days. It took days to clear out the place from molerats. And it took even more time to get all the supplies I needed to build a home and a place for trading, buying, and selling. It gave me a lot of time to think about this thing going on between Sturges and me.  
  
Was there anything at all? I doubted it. I didn’t love him but the sex with him, it was thrilling. It set me at ease for a bit. It was a distraction from my current heartbreak.  
  
My son... my baby boy... I couldn’t believe it. They _stole him, damnit!_ And he was their _leader!_ Nausea overwhelmed me and before I could do anything I was projectile vomiting all over the parking lot. Tears fell down in rivers and after I was finally done puking I screamed. Devastation had kicked in in full swing, knocking me off my feet, sending me down onto the concrete where I ripped open my knees.  
  
The pain made it even worse. I felt lost. Hopeless. Why did I even do this? Why did I agree to be the General of the Minutemen? Why did I help those people in the first place? Why am I not able to put a bullet in my head..?  
  
Both my hands were trembling. I just realized that I really had put the gun to my head. Dogmeat looked at me with his big golden eyes and whined. Like he wanted to tell me it wasn’t worth it to take my life. Fuck, he was just a dog, but he was right. I told him and he lifted his head. “Come on boy, let’s go home”, I said to him after I brushed myself off. I was still shaking when I opened the door to the Truck Stop. I really needed a can of water now.  
  
___  
  
After having a well-deserved break I walked up to Sanctuary again. It seemed like I never would get rid of this place... It was annoying but also nice to see that those people felt safe enough to live there. I wasn’t able to make out Codsworth, who knew where he was floating around, or if Preston gave him some task to fulfill.  
  
I found Preston somewhere near the cul-de-sac whistling a tune to himself. I approached him and told him about _Starlight_ , he was very happy about it. He didn’t ask about the other jobs he gave me. Guess I looked too fucked up to ask me anything.  
  
I walked over to the house and sat down at the picnic table at the balcony. It was dark already and a bit cold, the fire from the fire barrel behind me really warmed my back nicely. Since I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t notice Sturges sitting at the table at the other side. He stood up and looked at me before he walked inside.  
  
Although I sat so close to the barrel, it felt cold suddenly. So I decided to go after Sturges and found him at the still smoking console of the _Molecular Relay_. I approached him, wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what. He just stood there. I was sure he knew that I stood behind him, I saw his fists clenching. I shook my head, it was time to go home.  
  
This really wasn’t what I wanted...


End file.
